For weeks now, we've been hearing about Burger King's upcomming new fries. "The taste that beat McDonald's fries." according to a national survey. Exactly who conducted this survey and what particular nation was used was not disclosed.

Since the beginning of time, it has been a widely accepted fact that McDonald's has the best french fries on Earth. The fries are flavored to perfection and they simply melt in your mouth.

The new Burger King fries are an offensive abomination. They are not fit for consumption by Americans and should be produced only for export to Europe.

I couldn't even finish my free small order and needed to proceed immediately to McDonald's for re-toxification.